So I made an appointment with his regular doctor and we discuss everything that has happened over the last three years with his development and my concerns. The agrees and states the he shows multiple characteristics of Asperger’s Syndrome. One of the many conditions that is covered under the Autism Spectrum Disorder Umbrella.
However she isn’t a development pediatrician so of course we get a referral to one. Sad thing about getting to the Developmental Ped is it takes MONTHS and I’m talking like 8 months exactly to been seen. We finally get in, at this point Garien is 6 years old and in kindergarten. March of 2014 was the first time Garien’s medical records would list ASD (autism spectrum disorder) Now anyone whos ever gone though this knows that there is one more very important appointment after this where the child under goes an A-DOS screening. Its pretty much the gold standard for any ASD diagnosis. And much like my first appointment you get put on a wait list. Some parents have waited up to 18 months for this screening which is more or less a glorified play date. I was one of the lucky parents who won’t talk waiting sitting down. I called the office every other day asking if there had been any cancellations. I even told them I would drive to ANY office, which is where I was saved. They had a cancellation that happened minutes before I called in, but was at their office that was nearly 2 hours from my home. I however didn’t care I took it.
Garien was diagnosed with ASD March 2014 and it was confirmed July 2014. Now you have to imagine every parent thinks about their child future and we all have “plans” After the struggle I had with Garien in the beginning and how he fought so hard to stay alive I knew my son was going to be a fighter which meant that in the dreams I had for my son he was going to go to college get an amazing degree in whatever field he wanted. And I knew he would because he wouldn’t take no for an answer.
In March I came home from that appointment and I cried for hours after Garien went to bed. I felt like I mourning the loss of my sons future. (Now don’t get me wrong their are plenty of extremely successful Autistic members of society so my son’s life isn’t over.) But in that moment all I could think about was what can I do to make his life easier what expectations am I suppose to hold him to. Will he grow up to be that child of my hopes and dreams. Will he ever get married and feel the love that I have in my life. Will he ever know what it feels like to watch his heart walk in front of him.
I allowed myself that night to grieve any loss that I thought I was feeling. And when I woke up the next day I was a different person. I decided that Garien will have that life I dreamed for him because he has everything going for him. Hes really smart and sure he has struggles but I know what he needs now so I can help support and push him when no one else will.
I decided to use the mantra “My son is autistic, he’s not suffering from autism” I know there are 100’s of thousands out their who are searching for a “cure” and I guess you could say I’m lucky because my son has a moderate case of autism, so he speaks and he can kind of function in a normal society so maybe my view is skewed.
But my son isn’t broken, he doesn’t need a cure. He needs skills. I have anxiety, I have coping skills to help myself with I have an episode. And that’s what I’m going to stress to my son. Sure he has some limitations, he doesn’t like the sunlight because its bright and hurts his eyes, so he has sunglasses. He loves to watch me cook, but can’t help because if the food touches his hands and its the wrong texture it sends him into a panic so we bought him gloves and now he can make cookies with me. The world isn’t going to change for him, so I need to give him all the skills I can to help him make the most of his life.
Garien's Momma 